


Aren't You A Little Old For Prank Wars?

by orphan_account



Series: Questions We Ask Ourselves [4]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Chara Ruins Everything, Chara takes it too far, Mute Frisk, Non-Binary Chara, Non-Binary Frisk, Other, Prank Wars, Stuttering Alphys, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 05:33:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6841003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I think they hit back too hard." Undyne continues, "If you want to know. You know, you didn't ruin their hair, you just changed the colour. They don't look any worse than usual. But your hair, Frisk... Jeez, that wasn't even funny, that was just a low blow."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aren't You A Little Old For Prank Wars?

Coffee without Sans is about as fun as Frisk imagined- by that, they mean full of skeleton puns and bad jokes. Still, he tells Frisk about some of the pranks he's pulled on people over the years (mainly his older brother) and they have to admit that some of them are genius. The man sitting in front of her is obviously an expert on pranks, which gives Frisk an idea. So, after the meeting, they head to the drugstore and buy a buttload of red hair dye. It's the brand that Undyne uses on her hair so it must be pretty good. 

They have to warn their roommate, who has such a pale white hair that any kind of hair dye accidentally applied would probably stain it permanently, and they agree not to tell Chara. The poor roommate has had to deal with Chara's shit too since they basically moved into Frisk's room and started camping out on the floor in there. Things like Chara eating all the cereal and not bothering to tell anybody and rummaging through everybody's belongings and playing obnoxious video game music in the middle of the night, (actually the whole building had to tolerate that last one). 

Chara showers in the morning, so Frisk just has to make sure that they slip into the bathroom first. They unscrew the shampoo bottle and pour a sizeable amount down the sink, washing away the evidence quickly. Then, Frisk carefully tips the dye into the shampoo bottle, filling it right up to the top. They're surprised by how bright the colour is and hopes Chara doesn't notice. They shake the bottle up so that the contents mix before replacing the bottle on the shelf. There. That should take Chara down a peg or two. 

As they leave the bathroom, they pass their sibling in the hallway. Chara scowls; Frisk smiles. 

They've invited most of their friends over to see the results and it's not long before they're all gathered in the living room, passing time until Chara is done showering. Frisk wonders how long it will take for their sibling to notice that their hair is a bright shade of blue- then, they begin to worry that the dye won't work at all on such dark hair. They hope it does. And it turns out that there was no need for them to worry. 

The bathroom door clicks open and they all look up eagerly. 

Chara approaches, already dressed, with a towel slung around their neck. They're either oblivious to the fact that their hair is the same colour as the sky or they're exceptionally good at acting. Speaking from experience, it could be either. But they glance at each person in the room in turn, frown, and stand there like they're trying to figure out the occasion. Chara does not realise that their hair is the brightest shade of blue. It worked even better than Frisk thought it would and they have to stifle a gasp with their hand. 

"What are you all staring at?" Chara demands, their hands on their hips, glaring at them all. 

Alphys splutters and pulls her labcoat up over her ears so she can giggle into it. Her face is bright pink as she tried to stop herself from exploding with laughter. It's contagious. 

"What?" Chara looks themselves up and down, "What the hell are you laughing at, dork?" 

Undyne lets out a cackle, showing no shame, followed by another. The scientist just giggles harder, buried inside her labcoat, and closes her eyes tightly. 

"You're really starting to piss me off!" Chara says, in a warning tone, "Somebody better tell me what's so funny right-"

There's a knock on the door and Frisk, biting down on their lip hard, goes to answer it. They open the door and find Sans standing outside, fashionably late and yet perfectly on time. Silently, they invite him in and he follows them inside. Sans catches sight of Chara and his smile widens into much more of a grin, obviously thinking of when Chara caused him so much trouble. And he winks at them. 

"Nice haircut, kid." He says. 

It takes a moment for Chara to register what he said but when they do, they race quickly back into the bathroom. They all sit, counting the seconds, until they hear something acute to a shriek. There's a stamp of footsteps before an enraged Chara returns, running their hands through their hair in distress, and glares at them all. They take a look around the room before their eyes come to rest on Frisk, their pupils shrinking. 

_Red would be a better colour on them._ Frisk thinks. 

"You..." Chara glares at Frisk, "I will get you back for this. Watch your back." 

They storm out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind them. 

There's a resounding silence inside the apartment before everybody starts laughing hard. Frisk laughs until tears stream down their cheeks, unable to believe what they just witnessed. They don't spare so much as a thought to Chara's revenge. 

In fact, as it reaches the end of the week and Chara's hair has finally stopped being the butt of everybody's jokes, Frisk has entirely forgotten about the threat. They go about their ordinary life; they wake up, they go to work, they hang out with their friends, they go to bed. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. Chara doesn't seem any more or less pissed than usual, though it's always difficult to tell with them, and they don't spare anything more than heated glares in Frisk's direction. Same as usual. 

It's Monday morning that Chara strikes back.

Frisk wakes up late, finding their alarm clock unplugged, and pushes themselves out of bed. Since they're already running late, they don't have much time before their shift at work, so they dress quickly and grab their rucksack before darting out of the apartment. They take the stairs four at a time, more leaping down them than stepping, nearly falling at least twice. It's too bad that they didn't bump into Undyne or Alphys on their way downstairs because one of them might have pointed out that the back of Frisk's curls had been hastily hacked at with a blunt pair of kitchen scissors. A chunk was missing completely at the back. 

Having had no time to look in the mirror, this goes completely unnoticed by Frisk and in their rush to cycle to work, they don't catch the odd looks that they receive from people passing by. Maybe if they had, they might have glanced in a store window and realised that their hair looked even worse than Chara's. They actually didn't notice until they got to work and their coworker greeted them with surprise. 

"Frisk, darling." The guy (?) that works this shift with Frisk widens his eyes and inspects them carefully, "Oh, honey, who did you let cut your hair? Because let me tell you, they've done a _terrible_ job." 

They frown. 

"Oh, dear." The coworker obviously realises that Frisk has no idea and pulls a hand mirror out of his pocket, pushing it into their hand, "Look at your hair, darling. If I didn't know better, I'd say you got into a fight with a lawnmower." 

Frisk inspects themselves in the mirror and they know instantly who it was. They narrow their eyes and decides that this means war. A prank war. They communicate this to their coworker on the whiteboard they keep stuck up for such purposes and their coworker immediately offers to help, if it means getting revenge on whoever it was that lacked any style. 

In between ringing up customers' purchases and restocking the shelves, a plan begins to form. And Frisk thinks that it'll be perfect. 

When they return to the apartment, they _do_ bump into Alphys AND Undyne. The two women are standing outside Alphys' apartment, deep in conversation, though they draw apart instinctively when they see Frisk approaching.

Alphys looks horrified. Undyne touches her own hair, as if considering a similar style. 

"You look pretty badass." Undyne says, eventually, "You could totally kick some intergalactic robot butt with hair like that. You look like the shōnen protagonist after they got into a fight with some bad guy! Yeah!" 

"Uh... It's a l-l-look, I g-guess?" Alphys shrugs, looking unsure, "D-di-did you-?"

Frisk shakes their head and signs an explanation, slowly so that Undyne can follow. They haven't taught their friend how to recognise many different words but this is one that came up a few times. _Chara_. Undyne rolls her eyes and asks when they're going to start planning a prank rebuttal to get past this stalemate. Frisk shakes their head and smiles. 

When Sans comes over to hear about the plan, he seems just as enthusiastic as Frisk is about it. He also inspects their hair carefully, looking concerned for half a moment before his usual casual disposition returns and he shrugs. Frisk replaces the hat on their head, pulling it down over their ears so that it covers all the mismatched patches of hair. It will grow back. It just might take a while, that's all. 

On Thursday, there is a mass operation in the apartment. Everybody is moving quietly so they don't wake Chara. Frisk is picking clothes out of the closet, passing them in piles to their roommate; who passes them to Sans, who drops them into boxes; which Alphys picks up and carries them downstairs to Undyne; and Undyne stacks the boxes in her apartment. As they pick the mix of their clothes and Chara's clothes out of the closet, Frisk tries to stop themselves from being swallowed by the memories. The feeling of Chara's shirts under their fingers is enough to make them think of the past. 

Once all possible clothes have been smuggled away, Frisk hooks up an intricate skeleton costume- borrowed from Sans' of course- in their place. They half-wonder whether Chara would rather wear the costume or wander around in their underwear. Blegh. 

Just like last week, they all settle down to wait. 

Undyne deals out a deck of cards with the speed of somebody that works night shifts alone. "So, when d'you think they'll realise?" 

Frisk shrugs. 

"I think they hit back too hard." Undyne continues, "If you want to know. You know, you didn't ruin their hair, you just changed the colour. They don't look any worse than usual. But your hair, a Frisk... Jeez, that wasn't even funny, that was just a low blow."

Consciously, Frisk pulls their hat further down. 

"Some people don't take pranks well in my experience." Sans says, pulling his cards towards him, "But you just gotta keep working on them. And one day, they might not completely hate you for your pranks. Maybe. Good luck with... Chara?" Frisk nods, "Yeah, Chara." 

They play cards quietly, sat around the coffee table. 

Alphys looks as if something's bothering her. Frisk looks at her until she sighs and gives it up. 

"I th-th-think Ch-Cha-Chara might be really m-mean." The scientist admits, quietly, "And they sc-scare me. B-but I was w-wondering if there w-was a rea-reason they were so.... Like th-this?" 

Frisk shrugs. 

Everybody else leans in like they're expecting a story. 

They shrug again and gesture zipping their mouth up. 

Needless to say, Chara is not happy when they finally step out of the bedroom in a skeleton outfit that doesn't even fit them. It hangs off them oddly and they fold their arms, daring Frisk to laugh. The annoyed scowl on their face is hilarious. 

"Hey, buddy." Sans looks up, "You got up late. Maybe you shouldn't be such a... Lazybones." 

Undyne groans. Frisk laughs. Alphys frowns. 

"Bite me." Chara says, flatly, "Asshole." 

It's not the last skeleton pun of the day.


End file.
